


Everyone Always Leaves

by give-me-a-moose (quirky_turtle)



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 19:22:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17106638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quirky_turtle/pseuds/give-me-a-moose
Summary: On top of the paper was the engagement ring he had given her just two weeks prior. She had said yes to spending the rest of her life with him. A life she had run away from. He fell onto her couch, no longer able to control the tears.Of course she left him. Everyone always leaves.





	Everyone Always Leaves

Spencer walked into the bullpen with two coffees in hand and a smile on his face. He could not wait to see Y/N and invite her to a screening of all the old Star Trek movies. Not the new ones. He has his doubts about those ones. No matter how many times he and Y/N debated over them, he just didn’t like them.

When he got to Y/N’s desk, he found it was empty. Her books were gone. All pictures of them were gone. It was as if she…

“Hotch, where’s Y/N?” Spencer asked as he bursted into Hotch’s office. He would have dropped the two paper cups of coffee had he not been clutching them so tightly, hoping against hope that he was wrong.

Hotch just gave him a sad, grim look, “She resigned.”

“Why?” Spencer choked out, tears filling his eyes.

Hotch shook his head. He knew this would hurt Spencer, but he couldn’t know. He had to let Y/N go.

Spencer shook his head and ran out of the office, dropping the two coffees onto the floor.

Twenty minutes and a near heart attack later, Spencer found himself outside of Y/N’s apartment.

He knocked frantically. _Maybe he could talk to her._

He took out his key and unlocked the door. _Maybe he could find out why she resigned from the BAU._

He pushed open the door. _Maybe he could change her-_

He looked around and found that Y/N’s apartment was empty. The furniture was there, but all the little things that made the apartment hers were gone. All the pictures were gone. Pictures of her, her family, and Spencer. Gone.

Well, there was one thing that was hers that was left behind.

On the coffee table in the middle of the room was a piece of paper with a hastily written note.

_“I’m sorry Spence.”_

On top of the paper was the engagement ring he had given her just two weeks prior. She had said yes to spending the rest of her life with him. A life she had run away from. He fell onto her couch, no longer able to control the tears.

Of course she left him. Everyone always leaves.

~*~*~*~*~*~

_**Six Months Later…** _

“We got a case.” Hotch announced from the doorway to his office to the bullpen.

Spencer automatically looked over to Y/N’s empty desk. A habit he just couldn’t seem to break. Hotch hadn’t found a replacement for her yet. They had tried a few trial placements, but none of the agents stuck.

Spencer was pulled from his thoughts by Morgan’s voice.

“Hotch looks nervous.” the older agent observed, “Maybe it’s a big case.”

Spencer made a humming noise in agreement. Not really feeling like speaking at the moment.

The BAU agents entered the room, each taking their seats. They were surprised by Hotch standing in front of the screen. Not Garcia.

“The BAU has been tracking these men,” he gestured to the images on the screen, “Viktor Vasiliev, his brother Leo, and their associate Matvei Popov.”

“Wait. The Vasiliev brothers? The Organized Crime Unit shut down their operations five years ago. They supposedly fled the country.” Prentiss stated. She had followed that case closely, since she knew some of the agents working it.

“Supposedly, but a few months ago, Popov showed up on some traffic cameras near the home of one of the agents that worked to put them away.” Rossi added in, having been in on this “secret case” beforehand.

“I’ve heard of the Vasiliev brothers, but who is Popov?” JJ asked, having not followed the hierarchy of Russian crimes.

“Matvei Popov was the childhood best friend of Viktor, and taught himself to be his most vicious hitman when they grew up. Classic sociopath, with a strong sense of loyalty.” Spencer answered, having skimmed the case report one Wednesday afternoon when he was bored four and a half years ago.

Hotch nodded grimly, “The agents who went undercover in the original case were sent into Witness Protection Program, until the Bureau could track these men down. But it has proven to be difficult as they are experienced with evading law enforcement, and have the financial means to do so.”

“I’m assuming we are officially picking this up because we knew where they are hiding out?” Prentiss asked.

Hotch nodded again, “Yes. We have reason to believe that they are targeting a specific agent. We’re flying to Eldham, Utah.”

“Aaron, is that where-” Rossi started, but Hotch cut him off.

“Yes. That’s why wheels up in ten. This is an urgent.” Hotch’s voice carried a tone of finality that dismissed the agents without him having to verbally do so.

~*~*~*~*~

On the jet as they neared their destinations, Hotch gathered the team to assign their jobs

“We’ll be working with the local Field Office there. Reid, I want you to go with me to pick up the agent in hiding. Everyone else will go directly to the field office.”

Spencer was confused. Spencer was never chosen for retrieving a witness or potential victim. That was usually Morgan’s job or JJ’s. However, he was not one to decline his assignment.

Less than an hour later, Hotch and Reid were in the SUV, driving to the house of the victim, Spencer still didn’t know the name of.

“Spencer.” Hotch surprised the young agent again by using his first name, “I want you to go in alone and get her.”

“Why?” Spencer was incredulous. Hotch was acting strange this entire time. What was going on? What made this one agent so special?

“You’ll see, and I hope that you can understand why this was necessary.” Hotch swallowed nervously as he pulled up to the small house of the local paralegal, who was actually an FBI agent in hiding.

Spencer shot his boss on last confused look before stepping out of the car. He quickly walked over to the front door. Using the special knock that Hotch has taught him. The knock that would let her know that it was a fellow FBI agent on the other side, and not a Russian hitman.

He heard the clicks of multiple locks being unlocked before the door cautiously opened.

“Y/N?” he choked on her name as it left his throat. It was her. Her hair was a different color, but it was her.

Her eyes widened in surprise. She hadn’t expected it to be him, “Spencer...I-”

She tried to explain, but lost the words. Spencer almost pulled her into his arms. Almost cried tears of relief that she hadn’t really left him.

That was until he saw the glint of a diamond on her left hand, and noticed her protruding stomach. She was pregnant. And engaged again.

She may not have left him, but she had moved on from him.

“We have to go. Hotch is in the car.” Spencer replied to her, no emotion in his voice.

Hurt flashed across her features, but she followed him nonetheless.

She slid into the back of the car silently. Hotch nodded.

“It’s good to see you again, Agent L/N.”

That’s when it clicked for Spencer. Hotch knew. He clearly knew that Y/N hadn’t resigned. Why hadn’t her told him? Why hadn’t Y/N been allowed to write him a note? Anger flooded his veins, nearly boiling, but Spencer reigned it in.

He had a case to focus on. It deserved all his attention. Compartmentalization. Work now, emotions later.

~*~*~*~*~

When they stepped into the field office, Y/N was escorted directly to the room she would be hiding in. They wanted the minimal amount of agents to see her and know who she was.

Hotch pulled Reid aside, “You’re assigned to watch her.”

“What?” Spencer spat out, “Why me?”

“Six months ago, I had to make a choice that affected the team, especially you. It hurt, but it was the best option I had. Now, I have a chance to make this right. Now, go.”

Spencer internally signed, but made his way to the secured, temporary living area that had been made for Y/N.

He was allowed in and saw her on the couch. Fiddling with her ring.

She’s probably thinking of him.

“So, does he know?” Spencer blurted out before he could stop himself.

“Does who know what?” she asked, a confused look on her face.

“Does your fiance know about your undercover days? Because I sure didn’t.” he could almost feel the acid on his tongue as he spoke to her.

She looked more confused, “I couldn’t tell you and what are you talking about?” She stood to look at him directly.

“What am I talking about?” he gestured to her angrily, “You’re pregnant and engaged! Again. Might I add?”

“Spencer-” she tried to explain, as recognition crossed her face.

“You only left six months ago, and you’ve already moved on? Somedays, I still order a second coffee for you.” his anger only increased, his voice became sarcastic, “Please tell me. What’s your secret. How can you move from one engagement to the next so quickly. Maybe I didn’t mean that much...OH! And congrats on the kid. How long did that take-”

He was stopped by a slap to the face, from Y/N.

“I’m seven and a half months along, genius. You do the fucking math.” she seethed, tears in her eyes as she stormed out of the small room and locked herself in the connected bathroom.

Seven and a half-

Oh no.

Spencer cursed his lack of experience with pregnancy. When it came to guessing how far along a women was based on the size of her stomach, Spencer was at a loss. He hadn’t realized she was in her final trimester.

He didn’t think the child could be his.

He sluggishly walked over to the door and knocked. He heard her sobbing on the other side of it.

“I’m sorry. Can we please talk this out.” his voice was hoarse.

“The ring’s fake.” she managed between her tears, Spencer had to have his ear pressed again the door to hear her.

“What?” he whispered.

After a few minutes of silence, Y/N had calmed down some and opened the door slightly. Spencer didn’t dare move towards her.

“It felt strange not being able to wear the one you gave me. So, I bought myself a replacement while I was here.”

She handed him the ring. Just by running his thumb over the band, he was able to realize just how cheap it was. Like costume jewelry.

“It helped me to remember that you were out there, somewhere. I would have kept the real thing, but...” a few tears fell out of her eyes, “I wanted to tell you. I really did, but then you would have been in danger too. I couldn’t let that happen. I didn’t know if you guys would be able to find the Vasilievs this year or decade. I wanted you to be able to move on with your life in case I couldn’t come back to it. You’re it for me Spence. I’m not going to love again after you, but I thought you had a chance.”

Spencer didn’t speak he couldn’t. He just breathed.

The love of his life was in front of him and pregnant with their child. He should be overjoyed.

But he felt guilt. He had yelled at her and accused her of not caring about him, when she cared about him the most. She wanted him to be happy. Even if she couldn’t be there.

“Spencer…” her voice softly called to him and it was like a dam inside of him broke. He pulled Y/N to him and embraced her tightly. Crying into the crook of her neck. He felt her arms snake around his waist, hugging him as well.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry for not being there for all your appointments.” he pulled back enough to look into her eyes, “You are the love of my life. There was no one after you. There never will be.”

He needed her to believe that. He loved her as much as she loved him, if not more. He loved her so much, it scared him.

The broken couple just hugged each other tightly, hoping to make up for all the lost time in just one embrace.

When Spencer pulled back, it was only he had felt a strong kick coming from Y/N’s stomach.

Y/N sniffled before letting out a little laugh, “Sorry, he’s a little restless.”

“He?” Spencer repeated the word, a small sparkle in his eye that made Y/N melt.

She nodded, “It’s a boy, but I’ve been calling him ‘Bean’.” she smiled down at her stomach.

Spencer raised an eyebrow, “Why Bean?”

“I may have eaten a few pounds of Jelly Beans during my first trimester. I was really craving them.” she laughed, before walking to the couch, her feet tired from standing for so long.

Spencer followed her, sitting on the couch next to her. Not blinking when she swung her legs into his lap, wanting to be touching him in some kind of way after months of being apart.

“The Thursday before you left, you asked me to grab you some jelly beans with lunch. Did you know you were pregnant then?”

She shook her head, “I found out after being here for two weeks. I thought I had the flu, but nope.” she gestured to her stomach.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer apologized again, causing Y/N to sit up.

“Stop. It’s neither of our faults.” she cupped his cheek gently, making him look at her.

She leaned in and softly kissed his lips. One of Spencer’s hands moved to her neck, the other rested on her stomach. Where their child was growing.

When ‘Bean’ kicked his hand again, they pulled back from each other, giggling.

“He really missed his daddy.” Y/N stated, laying back on the couch again. Spencer’s heart melted at the word. Daddy. He was going to be a father.

A comfortable silence fell over them as they just watched each other. Basking in the presence they both had missed in the other.

“I hope the team finished this case quickly. I can’t wait to go home and put my ring back on.” Y/N yawned, tired from a long stressful day.

Spencer smiled, “You still want it?”

Y/N’s eyes opened, “Only if you want to give it to me.” she answered honestly. She wanted them to go back to the way it was before she was forced to leave, but if Spencer wasn’t able to do that, she would understand.

“Of course I do. I wish I had it with me right now, instead of in my desk at the office.” he stook her left hand, now bare, and gently ran his thumb over her ring finger.

“Well, I have faith in the team. I’ll have it back in no time.” she closed her eyes.

“And we’ll be home in no time.” Spencer’s free hand lazily rubbed her legs, lulling her to sleep.

“And Bean will be here in no time.” she yawned again.

“I can’t wait.” Spencer almost whispered.

“I love you.” she breathed before sleep took over.

“I love you too. Both of you.” Spencer answered, before allowing himself to take a short nap. Content to be with his family.

A family he would never leave.


End file.
